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I want to offer a special thanks to
Julie Dostal for sharing her story with us
that is just perfect for the 4th of July holiday.
Here is her story:
Dear Barbara,
I am 4 years post-op with a lap band and am maintaining a 150 lb
weight loss. My highest BMI was in the 50's and today it is 27.
Life has changed significantly. In thinking about the upcoming
holiday, I wrote a piece about the freedoms that come along with
weight loss surgery. I wanted to share it with you and with your
readership. It is long, I am aware. But, I wanted to take a chance
that it may speak in a powerful way.
Julie
Life, Liberty and the
Pursuit of Happiness-
“We hold these truths
to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are
endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that
among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”
The themes of
independence and liberty have come up a lot for me recently. I have
been philosophical in thinking about how the preamble to the
Declaration of Independence applies to my life after weight loss
surgery. As I read the preamble, several phrases and words jump out
at me. To me, it is as if Thomas Jefferson knew that his words
could have a very broad application and wrote them in way to make
them accessible to more than just the members of the Continental
Congress. It is as if he wrote the words to be universal in their
appeal and transcendent in their meanings.
Truths that are
self-evident; meaning truths that are obvious, truths that require
no proof or explanation… they just “are.” We are all created equal;
we are endowed with certain fundamental rights by our Creator; we
are endowed with life, with liberty, and the right to pursue
happiness.
“Truth” Truth is a
powerful word. And in the writing of this preamble, the author
infused this simple word with even greater value by indentifying
these truths to be self-evident. Every truth that follows this very
first thought of his phrase requires no proof because he is
assured that it is in the very nature of The Creator that they be
true.
As an obese woman,
the notion that I was created as an equal to all others on this
earth was foreign to me. I always felt unequal. In fact, I was
often treated unequal. This is one of the driving forces behind my
over achieving ways. It seemed to me that I was required to perform
“above and beyond” in order to merely play in the same league as
thin people. Because society identified me as a “less than” person,
I knew I was starting with a deficit that had to be overcome (and
then some) in order to be perceived as equal.
In this instance,
weight loss surgery has given me two things. First, and probably
most importantly, I have come to see myself as equal. I no longer
perceive that I must begin far behind the start/finish line where
all of the rest of the world is standing. I no longer identify my
own self as a “less than” person simply because I have the disease
of morbid obesity. I have a disease. I did not cause it. It did
not seek me out because I was some sort of a deficient human being.
Therefore, like all others, I am created equal. Created. Equality
was always inherently mine, endowed by my Creator, I just didn’t
know it. Second, I am now treated as an equal. Those who would be
prejudice now have no physical basis upon which to hang their
judgments. It is a sad fact of our society, yet it is nevertheless
true. I am treated more nicely, with greater respect, and with less
scrutiny than I was as an overtly obese woman.
We are endowed with
life. My life is forever changed by weight loss surgery. I believe
that my surgery has endowed me with additional life, longer life,
and far greater quality of life. Before weight loss surgery, I was
looking down the barrel of a loaded musket of co-morbidities. My
genetics had already loaded the gun with high blood pressure,
diabetes, cancer, and heart disease. My obesity had essentially
cocked the gun, and my own behavior was shoving gun powder into the
muzzle as fast as possible. Now that I am a normal size, I have
managed to significantly reduce the risk of that
disaster-in-waiting. It was a pretty sure shot that life as a
senior adult was not going to be of high quality. It was plausible
that life could have gotten pretty bad, pretty quickly. Weight loss
surgery has managed to uncock the gun and has helped me unload some
of that gun powder. The bullets are still in the chamber. I can’t
change that because my genetics are my genetics. However, I’m no
longer pointing the gun at my own head.
I am endowed with
life. I intend to live my life to its fullest.
Liberty is another
one of those unalienable rights given to us by our Creator. I had
no idea how significantly my liberty was impacted by my obesity. I
was literally captive in my own body. There were so many things
that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do because I was either too large to do
them comfortably or I felt too embarrassed. I had conveniently made
up great excuses that downplayed my inabilities to do certain
tasks.
My best word to
express the way I feel about my post-operative life as it relates to
liberty is “unshackled.” I absolutely feel as if someone found the
key to my handcuffs and leg irons and let me go. I am no longer
walking around dragging 150 pounds of prison with me. To be
unshackled is to experience absolute freedom. It is a kind of
freedom that is enjoyed only by people who know what it is like to
be “unfree.” Those who have always had their freedom cannot
possibly imagine the unspeakable joy that is associated with being
released.
I am able to move my
body in ways that I never imagined to be possible. I am always
looking for new ways to move and new ways to express my body’s
liberty from the ravages of a horrible, chronic disease. I am often
like a two-year old who giggles in delight at each discovery of a
previously unknown ability. This liberty is priceless and makes me
deeply grateful to The Creator for the weight loss surgery that set
me free.
I am also grateful
for the right to pursue happiness. I am keenly aware that The
Creator did not give me the right to immediate happiness; He gave me
the right to pursue it. Weight loss surgery has given me a new
opportunity to pursue true joy in life on a variety of levels.
Some of my seeking brings me to things completely and utterly on the
surface. They are the transient things that do not have eternal
value; reveling in new clothing, getting new hair styles, and
wearing high heels. However, most of my pursuit is on a much
deeper, soul level.
I have shed the
physical layers that were so much a source of pain, shame, and a
feeling of complete and utter failure. Having shed those layers, I
find (much to my surprise) that happiness is still something that I
have to pursue. I was mistaken to think that my pursuit of
happiness was the weight loss alone. I thought surely thinness
would equal happiness. It does not. The physical part of me that
is left after the weight loss is merely the foundation for pursuit
of happiness. The new life that I have been given, along with the
liberty that frees me are the building blocks of this third, but
ever-so-important inalienable right. It is the only listed
inalienable right that contains a verb, it is the only inalienable
right that required something of me from the moment I receive it.
Each day is a new
opportunity to pursue happiness. I find that achieving happiness is
much more about me than about my achievements or situations. It has
become clear that living an event-driven life does not produce
lasting happiness. If I am waiting for an event to make me happy,
then I have missed the point. I can no longer allow myself to fall
into the trap of “I’ll be happy when this happens or when that
happens.” That is transient. Lasting happiness is my
responsibility, through a connection with The Creator.
I am sure that Thomas
Jefferson was aware how significant the Declaration of Independence
was and that it would take its place in the history of a nation.
Yet, I don’t believe that he could have possibly known that he was
writing the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence for one
woman who would draw strength from it more than 200 years later.
So, I close with this
thought; Thomas Jefferson may not have known that he was writing to
me. However, I am sure that The Creator was well aware, even in
1776, that this preamble would give me pause to take a few moments
out of a busy week to acknowledge His presence, His gifts, and the
truths about Him that are self-evident. I am sure that The Creator
knew that I needed to stop and look at all He has given me through
this miraculous process called weight loss surgery; equality, life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness; precious gifts that are only
endowed by a loving Creator. For these, I am eternally grateful.
For these I thank the Creator who created me.
Julia Dostal
julie_leaf@hotmail.com
Julia M. Dostal, PhD
Executive Director
LEAF Council on Alcoholism and
Addictions
Oneonta, NY 13820
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Congratulations Julia |
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